the life and times of a wandering jew

6.29.2006

Nathanson's Ark

I'm glad I picked such a calm time to visit the Eastern seaboard. Apparently I should be turning Trudel into an ark and carrying out animals two by two. I got a ton of rain in D.C. on Tuesday, so much so that for the entire time I was there, every Smithsonian museum except for one was closed because of flooding or power problems or some other bullshit that prevented me from doing one of the main things I came to D.C. to do. Fuck. Other than that, I saw pretty much everything I wanted to see, including a very cool Capitol tour this afternoon. I'll write an in depth post very soon. I'm taking my laptop to California this weekend, and I should have some free time...

My flight leaves at 8:50, so I have to get up at 2:30 a.m. to get there on time. Not really, but it's going to feel that way in a few hours. It's 11 now, so I think I'll get some sleep. Or I'll try to get some sleep, if the goddamn thunder would just let up...

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe Jason's plane crashed or he was evaporated by the fireworks on Fourth of July. It's been awfully quiet around here.

(sound of crickets and a fizzling sparkler)

Anonymous said...

More like KABOOM...Jason blown to bytes.

Anonymous said...

Please show some respect for the dead.

I'm sure Jason is up in heaven huffing on a gigantic bong with Jerry Garcia and looking down on us with that special twinkle in his eye that you see when he has a boner.

Anonymous said...

Hey Biggs, is that a gerkin in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the hell with Jason...where is Biggs?

Mr. Biggs said...

People call them "shallow graves",...as if it's some small task to dig one.

Even with a good shovel, it ain't easy.

You start off intending to go down four or five feet.

After about a foot, you figure you'd be willing to settle for 3.

By two and a half you're dirty and sweaty and grumpy. And in my case, my head and neck were red and irritated from Jason's defensive slapping.

And don't get me started about filling the thing back in. All that dirt displaced from the space the body's now taking up...where does THAT go? Make a little hill? scatter it around evenly? Hell, I didn't bring a rake. Who'd think of that?

-Biggs

Anonymous said...

Biggs, you had to stoop to murder in order to take over Jason's Blog? For shame.

If anyone sees Biggs driving the Trudel down a highway screaming like a hyena, arrest him.

Jason...sob...whimper...R.I.P.

(Isn't this like the tenth time Jason's died on this blog?)

Umunhum said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Actually, Biggs, you should have cut up Jason in tiny parts, so he fits better in the grave....then save the head as a trophy.

Anonymous said...

Kind of like how Jeffery Dahmer did it?

Anonymous said...

Biggs didn't patent the world's very first 12-piece stainless steel cutlery set that's completely portable for nothing.

Dahmer was his student.

Mr. Biggs said...

That cutlery comes in it's own leatherette case, by the way.

Completely portable. Full tang. Surgical stainless steel-style blades.

-Biggs

Anonymous said...

Der Metzger mit dem schärfsten Messer hat das wärmste Herz.

Mr. Biggs said...

Ich habe einen Ostrich in meinen Hosen, wenn du dich interessierst, um einen Blick zu nehmen.

-Herr Biggs

Anonymous said...

Möglicherweise können wir Jason finden ' Kopf in der Metzger gesetzten Hose, auch.

Anonymous said...

So which is it? Is Jason's head or the ostrich in Bigg's trousers?

Anonymous said...

So which is it? Is Jason's head or the ostrich in Bigg's trousers?

Anonymous said...

So which is it? Is Jason's head or the ostrich in Bigg's trousers?

Anonymous said...

Someone's been smoking too much whacky tabacky.

Anonymous said...

You can say that again.
You can say that again.

Anonymous said...

Ja! Ja! Ich möchte einen Blick an Ihrem enormen Hosen Vogel. Mag ich ihn streichen?

Anonymous said...

Ihr vogelchen braucht wasser!

(idiomatic expression - Babelfish will not save you.)

Anonymous said...

I didn't expect the return of the 3rd reich here. This is in poor taste given Jason's heritage... but then again he is driving around in a vehicle made by a company started by Adolf Hitler.

Meh! Whatta ya gonna do?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.