Homestretch

Snoqualmie, Washington
First things first - Happy Birthday Mom! Her birthday was August 9th, and she'd like to let all of you know she's only 34.

My 11 day shower boycott finally ended last night to the delight of anyone I will come in contact with today. It's not that I'm an unclean person...at home I've been known to shower twice a day. Shower accommodations on the road, however, are often less than sanitary in their appearance and I actually have felt dirtier after using some of them. I went swimming in wonderfully fresh and clean river in Yellowstone during the 11 day hiatus, so at least I was fully immersed in water at some point, even if there wasn't any soap involved.

Ah, Yellowstone. I spent a full three days, from Tuesday to Thursday, in what is arguably the most famous and popular of our National Parks (I saw arguably because the Grand Canyon is probably technically the most popular, but I don't think of it as a park. Yellowstone is a park. The Grand Canyon is, well, a canyon). Upon entering the park, I encountered a half hour construction delay that was a sign of frustration that would continue over the next three days. It's odd to be in the middle of what should be natural splendor and feel like you're stuck on the 101 during rush hour. Yellowstone during the Summer means tourist choked roads and construction, and you just have to deal. People drive like retards, stopping in the middle of the road for every Bison sighting, when they should be courteous and use the turn out RIGHT NEXT to them. Half the tourists are foreign, and it would be easy to blame them for the inconsiderate behavior because they just don't know any better, but 90% of the time it's Americans who are the biggest violators. No wonder the world hates us.

Despite all this, however, the park is amazing. The whole thing sits on a huge volcano, causing all the odd geothermal features like geysers, gurgling mud pools, and steamy ponds. Wildlife runs, well, wild across the hills and valleys. I saw Bison, Elk, Eagles, Deer, huge Rabbits, and Beaver. Despite several hours spent searching, however, I failed to spot a bear. Bison are the most prevalent species, delighting tourists and stopping traffic for miles. They are rather inconsiderate animals, often ambling along roads and stopping for minutes like the crossing guards of the park. They'll come right up to your car, decide whether or not they want to head butt you, and move on. Apparently every year hundreds of tourists ignore the 25 yard rule and are gored, something I'm very disappointed I did not witness. Something I saw a lot of, however, were children strapped into those leash/harness contraptions. It was odd to think that all of these animals can run wild for millions of acres, but the species in need of taming are human toddlers.

During my stay, I saw Old Faithful shoot forth her majestic stream twice. It happens roughly every 92 minutes, and it's still a real crowd pleaser after all of these years. Benches ring the geyser, and as people start gathering it resembles something of a rock concert. The second the first stream of water comes shooting out, children squeal and adults "ooh" and "ahh." It's a nice communal experience.

One thing I highly recommend that's not on the map it taking a dip in the Firehole River. It's kind of hidden, off the map, and one of the few things that wasn't crowded. It's on the two mile Firhole River loop, and you'll see a sign a few minutes past the Madison campground. You park along the side of the road and walk down some steps into a small canyon. There are a few small rapids, and when you plunge into them, they whisk you downstream and around corners at a speed fast enough to be fun but not so swift your life passes before your eyes. The water is alternately warm and cold due to the thermal nature of the river, and it's very rocky, so wear water socks or some kind of footwear.

Finding a campsite in Yellowstone during the summer isn't that hard provided you arrive before 2pm. I believe there are seven major drive in campgrounds and over 100 backcountry campgrounds. I stayed for two nights at Madison, where I found my fellow campers very friendly. On Wednesday night my neighbors even invited me over for pie! And I finally figured out how, after over three months, to build a decent campfire. The pyramid style is a scam that will fall apart and burn out on you very quickly; the best way is to start with a layer of rolled up newspaper logs set side by side on the bottom, followed by a layer of kindling set across the newspaper, followed by another layer of kindling laid across that, followed by your smaller logs laid across that. This will give you a nice rectangular or square shaped pile which will allow you to build extra layers as the bottom layers start to go out.

I left Yellowstone Thursday afternoon and drove into Montana. I spent the night at a Wal-Mart in Missoula where bees attacked the dead bugs splattered across the front of Trudel. At one point I went into Wal-Mart to, um, check out on aisle number two, and when I came out tornado force winds were blowing all of the potted plants across the parking lot. The sky was pitch black with lightning raging to my north, I was certain Dorothy's house was about to land right next to me. There was never any rain, just insane winds and lightning. That subsided, and I fell asleep only to be awoken around 2am by the sound of shattering glass. I peeked out the window, saw nothing of concern, and fell back asleep. In the morning, I discovered a huge painted glass ashtray smashed about five feet from my van. I figure some kids were probably messing around, saying "let's fuck with the smelly homeless guy in the van by throwing a large piece of glass near his car." Kids today.

As I drove along I-90 into Idaho, I realized that I've finally come full circle and am retracing earlier steps of the trip. Sure, I'll drive down the coast from Seattle and probably take some roads I didn't take going north in the beginning of my trip, but the "exploring places in the country I've never been before" portion of the trip is officially over. I'm in the homestretch, and I'll be back in L.A. inside of two weeks. It's been three and a half months, and I feel like I just left yesterday. The rest of this trip, I'm going to have that feeling like it's the last Sunday in Summer and school starts tomorrow. Thankfully I get to spend the next two weeks driving along one of my favorite places in the world, the coastal area of the Western United States, and there's definitely going to be a lot of pausing and reflecting going on.

Again, I tried to upload pictures and only one went through. Below is Nate in Chicago telling the head statue outside the zoo never to go to Pizzeria Uno ever again.