So Bush has named Tony Snow, FOX News Radio talk show host and frequent FOX TV contributor, as Press Secretary. That ought to dispel the notion that the Bush administration is in bed with FOX News. Now, Mr. Snow may not be the worst pick in the world - he is SOOO boring that by the time he gets to questions from the press, they'll probably all be asleep. Seriously - I keep tapes of Snow's show around for those nights when I'm battling insomnia. It got me wondering, though...if a FOX News Radio guy can get such a prominent position, the TV guys should be overqualified for White House jobs. Here is what future appointments could look like:
-Neil Cavuto: Treasury Secretary (Which, coincidentally, is filled by another "Snow," John Snow, no relation to Tony, but there are unconfirmed reports he might be the guy behind the 90s rap hit Informer
-Shepard Smith: Head of FEMA
-John Gibson: Secretary of Defense against the War on Christmas
-Bill O'Reilly: Secretary of Falafels (if you don't get this, you NEED to read the 2004 sexual harassment complaint against Mr. Loofa)
-Alan Colmes: Secretary of Token Liberals
-Sean Hannity: Secretary of Making it Look Like you Care about an Issue as Long as it Gets Ratings
-Greta Van Sustern: Secretary of Hot Missing White Chicks
Mr. Snow, if you're reading this, I just want to let you know that if you need a Deputy Press Secretary, I produced a conservative radio show for the past two years. Call me. I'm also a big fan of your band (hat tip USA Today).
1 comment:
A fox went out on a chilly night,
and prayed to the moon to give him light,
for many miles he'd go that night,
before he reached th border, border, many miles he'd go that night before he'd reach the border.
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